Although you might have gotten married with the best of intentions, not all marriages can stand the test of time. In many cases, a marriage will end in an divorce. But even in this unfavorable situation, there are things you can do to leave your marriage in such a way that you and your former spouse don’t become mortal enemies who despise each other.
To help you see how this can be done, here are three tips for working with your ex through your divorce.
Be Wise When Communicating
Your marriage likely ended because something within your relationship wasn’t working. In many instances, communication is one of these things. With this issue, working through your divorce with your spouse can be a challenge. But luckily, there are some things you can do to make this a little easier to manage.
According to Deanna Conklin-Danao, a contributor to Divorce Magazine, it’s best to keep your communication with your ex as brief and to-the-point as you can. While you should try to be friendly, you also don’t want to continue communicating in a way that makes you or your ex emotional about your marriage, as this could derail or complicate your divorce. Because of this, try to communicate only about issues regarding your divorce and discuss these issues in a productive way.
Set Clear And Healthy Boundaries
Just like with any relationship in your life, it’s wise to have clear and healthy boundaries between you and your ex as you work through your divorce together.
As part of this, Dr. Andra Prosh, a contributor to the Huffington Post, advises that you situate yourself in your relationship with your ex so that neither of you falls back into old patterns of behavior that created an unhealthy dynamic for the two of you. This might mean communicating only through your lawyers or otherwise steering clear of one another until you’ve had some time and distance from your relationship and can relearn how to safely be around each other.
Commit To Working Together When You Must
In some situations, there’s going to have to be continued communication after the marriage has dissolved, especially if you had children together.
In situations such as this, HelpGuide.org suggests that you and your ex commit to working together on issues regarding your kids. This likely includes being able to communicate and compromise with one another, even if this wasn’t your strong suit while you were married. By doing this, not only will you be able to maintain good parenting for your children, but you’ll also be able to maintain some peace in your life as well.
If you’re at the beginning stages of a divorce, consider using the tips mentioned above to help you successfully work through this with your ex.