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April 8, 2022 by Sofia

3 Decisions That Should Be Made As A Family

Whether your family is large or small, there are certain decisions you shouldn’t make alone but should instead wait to talk about them with your immediate family members. This is especially true for anything that will affect the family as a whole. If you aren’t sure what types of issues are important enough to bring up to your family, read on. Here are 3 examples of decisions that should always be made as a family.

Care For Older Family Members

Finding care for your older loved one such as a parent or grandparent can be stressful, scary, and sad. On top of this, it’s a lot for just one person to handle. Because of this, having the support of the rest of your family members can be really helpful in easing your stress. Additionally, it is important that everyone in the family comes to an agreement regarding what to do for the older family member.

There are different factors that may affect your decision – such as whether or not the older family member is coherent, how much money you are able to spend, and how sick they are. These are things that will be so much easier to overcome if you talk about them with your family first before making any big decisions.

Moving To A Different City

If you plan to move to a different city, town, or state than the one you currently live in, this is something that will affect all members of your family regardless of their age. Make sure you talk it over with your spouse, children, parents, etc. before making the decision to move to a. New place.

With a big move can come many different struggles and those things will always be easier to overcome with your family members by your side. The adjustment can be hard for everyone but if you are all able to lean on one another it will be much better.

Getting A New Pet

A pet, whether large or small, is something that all members of the household need to be informed about prior to you bringing them home. Getting a new pet can be really exciting, but with it also comes big responsibility and sometimes a bit of stress.

Some people don’t like animals as much as others and many even have allergies that can affect their daily lives. Make sure you talk to your family members about all of this before bringing a pet home or else they may be in for an unpleasant surprise.

Making decisions can be tough, especially when they are big ones. Enlist the help of your family for the types of decisions on this list and you will be sure to have an easier time of it, plus everyone will feel important and respected.

March 29, 2022 by Sofia

Top 4 Tips for Choosing the Best Fostering Agency

This is not an understatement. Being a foster parent to kids in need can completely change your life. However, if you have a chance to ask different parents about their general experience, most will say that fostering has made a great difference in their lives.

It might be somehow overwhelming when you start realizing that it is important to be a lucky foster parent. Though from ensuring your home is safe for the child to training requirements, it might be simple to overlook certain aspects of the process.

This is why it is advisable to visit https://applefostering.co.uk/ for the best fostering options or consider the following tips to choose the right fostering agency near you:

Consider the Breakdown Rate of Placement

It is vital to know the number of placements of kids in the agency that lead to breakdown and needs children to be placed or removed with foster carers.

This can happen for various reasons. Though kids’ placement and matching process to a foster family is basically intended to avoid breakdown.

You might as well need to ask about the needs of kids being placed in the agency. Remember to also ask whether it is possible to talk with one or two foster carers so that you may determine their experience.

Look at the Responsiveness

As the foster parent-to-be, you might need to contact your preferred agency a couple of times. Their capability to respond faster and provide you with the support you need is important.

A perfect way to determine how they will act after joining them is to pay attention to the way they respond before joining.

For instance, if you call the agency’s office, are they responding faster, or do you end up in a voicemail loop with their team taking days to give you feedback? So you can imagine the disappointment you can have, especially when you have a burning question or an emergency.

Check the Support

A good agency boasts of having a great support network. All foster families have dedicated social workers, and if necessary, your agency will provide you with therapeutic supervision.

Most agencies also hold regular catch-up meetings with all their foster carers. This serves as a perfect chance to help one another with advice and tips.

During the meetings, there will be people to speak to at any time or 24/7. So that means all your calls, questions, and concerns will be addressed.

Know the Types of Agencies

Apart from local authority fostering agencies, you may have the alternative of dealing with independent foster agencies.

Local authority agencies work as part of or alongside the authority’s social work department and choose as well as train their foster carers.

On the other hand, independent agencies offer placement opportunities for kids that local agencies are not able to place. This is achieved by employing their foster carers who are obligated to support, train, and recruit themselves.

Final Remarks!

In order to get the best fostering agency to suit all your needs, ensure you research thoroughly or as much as you can.

It is also a great idea to look for fostering tips. Usually, the internet is a perfect place for you to get started.

 

March 28, 2022 by Sofia

3 Tips For Families With Unconventional Lifestyles

These days, people from all walks of life are learning that they prefer to move to the beat of their own drums and go against the grain a little bit. No longer are people feeling pressured to live up to the expectations of society – they are instead doing what makes them happy.

For many, this means living an unconventional type of lifestyle. Some people choose to live full-time in a van or a tiny home while others find it works best for them to live separately from their spouses. No matter what type of unconventional life you’re living, there can be some challenges along the way. This becomes even more true once you add children into the mix. You may feel judgment from others, or you might find that the logistics of what you want to do are a little harder to figure out. To help you out, here are 3 simple tips for families with unconventional lifestyles.

Plan Ahead

Before making any type of big lifestyle change, you should always make sure to plan ahead. Think about all of the costs that may be involved with doing things in an unconventional way, and all of the extra steps you may have to take to make things happen.

You should also think about the potential effects on your children and your family as a whole. For example, living the “van life” may be great for a young couple, but it can be much more difficult once you have school-age children.

Every family is different, so you’ll have to consider what is best for yours. Talk to your partner or spouse and make lists of pros and cons so that you can make informed decisions about your future. When thinking of the future and planning ahead, remember to also consider what will happen once you reach retirement age. Will your lifestyle be sustainable or will more adjustments need to be made? These are all great things to think and talk about ahead of time so that you have a solid plan.

Have An Emergency Fund

Having savings is important for everyone, but maybe even more so for people living unconventionally. Lots of little things can go wrong that can be costly, so it’s important to have an emergency savings fund, just in case. Learning to expect the unexpected will serve you well no matter what your lifestyle is.

Don’t Worry About What Others Think

Whenever you make choices for your family that differ from the norm, you are bound to receive some kind of judgment and/or comments from people you know (or perhaps even strangers on the internet!) Don’t worry about what anyone thinks as long as you and your family feel happy, safe, and secure. You can’t expect everyone to understand your lifestyle, and that’s OK! They may not understand yours either.

Living a little differently than most of society can be uncomfortable at first but in many ways, it will give your family a great perspective and freedoms you may not otherwise have been able to enjoy. Use the above tips to help make your unconventional lifestyle easier so that you can enjoy it even more!

 

March 10, 2022 by Sofia

Four Ways to Reduce or Avoid Family Conflicts Over Your San Antonio Estate

If you are like many people, you probably plan your estate for your loved one’s future. However, sometimes, estate planning can result in conflicts. Often, relationships can get ruined because of money. Your loved ones may get along fine now but, they may disagree over matters, especially if you are no longer around. Because of this, you must come up with a plan, so those you will leave behind will not have conflict over your legacy. To help you realize your plans, you need the services of an experienced estate planning attorney San Antonio to make sure your estate will be managed based on your wishes. The following estate planning tips will help prevent your loved ones from fighting over your estate:

Resolve Current Family Conflicts

Family conflicts that remain unresolved will come to the surface following your passing. Family disputes can become ugly court battles. Therefore, you must take efforts in resolving current family conflicts as early as possible. You can also deal with them later as long as you build safeguards to reduce them.

Be Clear About Your Wishes

A lot of disputes among family members in San Antonio arise due to the failure of the creator to communicate their wishes. For example, should you pass away without specifying the way you want your assets to be handled, one of your beneficiaries may wish to sell their assets while another may wish to keep them in the family. Such disagreements could tarnish the relationship that used to be intact.

Family members can have conflicts when one claims they were promised to get certain assets; however, estate documents say otherwise. It is a good idea to take photos of items with sentimental value like heirlooms, furniture, or jewelry. Then, list the people who will inherit these items in your will.

Ensure Your Trustee is Not a Family Member

Appointing a member of your family as the estate executor or fiduciary can be a mistake. If a family member manages your trust, other members may not agree to it and will make unreasonable claims in the future after your passing. Because of this, you may need to designate an objective expert who has no legal or family interest as your trustee.

Meet With Your Loved Ones

After developing a San Antonio estate plan, meet with the members of your family, so you can communicate your wishes clearly. Talk to them about your estate plan in detail. This way, no family member will be resentful when they only learn later that someone inherits money from you.

February 14, 2022 by Sofia

Does Marriage Counselling Work?

If you’re living in Western Australia and have recently been experiencing difficulties in your marriage, then you might have already sought marriage counselling services based in Perth area. Taking that step to seek professional help is not easy, however, as many couples or individuals find themselves with many questions and doubts about the process. Does marriage counselling really work? If it does, why do so many couples still get divorced?

Let’s take a closer look at some of the important things one needs to understand about marriage counselling before they engage these services.

Marriage Counselling Can Take a Lot of Time

One of the biggest factors behind the failure of marriage counselling for some couples is that they don’t give the process long enough to work. No one is claiming that it’s a miracle process that will fix a broken marriage overnight. There is some research that suggests that a typical couple in counselling will need about 12 sessions to see results, with each session being about 50 minutes to an hour. Obviously, this is only an estimated average, and can vary greatly depending on the circumstances of each case.

Every Partnership is Different

Just as there’s no guarantee on the time, there’s also no fixed pathway for the methods used by counsellors as they get to work. Every marriage has its unique problems and even when the problems are somewhat similar, the question of degree and exact circumstances will invariably present many areas of difference.

A marriage counsellor needs to understand the dynamics in your relationship. That includes how you communicate, what kind of “culture” you have created within your marriage, what the specific areas of concern are, and how invested each party is in making things work and engaging with the process. It’s important, therefore, that couples going into counselling recognise that it’s counterproductive to directly compare their own case with others, which unfortunately many do, and often to their frustration and disappointment.

What Kinds of Therapies are Used?

Practitioners use a whole range of approaches, some of which may be self-developed and perhaps named after themselves! Common ideas among counsellors include the use of Gottman couple therapy, which is a well-established, structured and goal-oriented approach to help work on difficulty in adjustment within a marriage, as well as with intimacy.

Other ideas include (but are certainly not limited to) emotionally focused therapy (EFT) which is useful for short-term therapy, the Bader-Pearson model to focus on varying stages of the relationship and each partner and how to move forward constructively, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), discernment counselling and more.

You shouldn’t expect any two counsellors or organisations to use all the same approaches. Some tend to stick to the tried and true, whereas others are more experimental. Success or failure depends greatly on how engaged and receptive the couple is with the whole process.

Enter the Process Hoping for Success, but Don’t Demand It

Marriage counselling is in essence the invitation of a hopefully impartial third party into one’s marriage to try and discover the cause of any strife that’s going on and help couples to work through it. Whether or not that works depends greatly on two main factors:

  • The open-mindedness, receptiveness and willingness of both parties within the couple
  • The “good fit” between counsellor and couple, which fosters good communication and constructive discussion

You can go into any counselling relationship with hopes that these two main factors and the many others you’ll need to succeed will align and generate a successful outcome, but don’t demand the perfect outcome from the outset. You might have to try different approaches in order to find one that works, but above all you also need to be patient and willing enough to let the process work.

February 7, 2022 by Sofia

Can a Same Sex Couple Adopt a Child in Alabama?

With the Supreme Court decision Obergefell v. Hodges legalizing gay marriage throughout the country, a series of addition issues have arisen for same sex couples. One of these is the possibility of adopting children. Alabama has not been the most accommodating states towards same sex couples, with state legislatures doing all that is possible to limit the impact of that Supreme Court decision, while creating some unnecessary obstacles for same sex couples, including but not limited to the acts of marriage and adoption. That being said, there is no law that explicitly bars same sex couples from adopting children, so in theory couples who want to move forward with an adoption can do so.

Obstacles to Same Sex Adoption in Alabama

Alabama law states that a “husband and wife… may petition the court to adopt a minor.” From this language, we can see that there is not an explicit ban on same sex couples from adopting, though there is an implicit bias, as it were.

One of the biases that same sex couples may encounter is a result of House Bill 24, which was designed to protect the religious views of those who would object to an adoption by a same sex couple, so an agency or agency worker would be able to stifle the adoption process through a claim of a religious objection. This religious exemption rule only applies to private adoption agencies, ones that do not receive funding from state or federal sources.

Many states have laws that protect people on the basis of gender and sexuality, and Alabama is not one of those states. This creates difficulties for prospective parents, since they do not have legal protection within the state. At the same time, they may make an appeal to federal laws which offer protections to people based on gender.

Rules and Conditions for Adoption in Alabama

Many adoptions are joint adoptions, those between married couples. Since the legal language right now only states “husband and wife,” it is still unclear how this will impact same sex couples. The implication that the couple be married in order to move forward with a joint adoption could be interpreted as being in favor of same sex couples.

Another type of adoption is second-parent adoption, which is when a child is adopted by a parent in the home who is not the legal parent, and therefore does not share a legal or biological connection. At this point in time, this type of adoption is unavailable in Alabama, though courts have ruled that Alabama must recognize same sex parent adoptions that were granted in other states.

Stepparent adoption is where a child is legally adopted by the spouse of a child’s legal parent. According to the statute, there is nothing that should bar a same-sex spouse from going through with a stepparent adoption. In general, the adoption is considered consensual when the adoptee’s mother or presumed father grants it, or when the child, aged 14 or older, grants it.

Despite the bureaucratic and structural difficulties that exist, it is possible for same sex couples to move forward with an adoption. The language of many of the laws makes for some wiggle room that you and your Birmingham adoption attorney can navigate to your benefit.

 

January 13, 2022 by Sofia

4 Of The Worst Cities To Raise A Family

Raising a family is a long-term commitment, and finding the right place for your family to grow takes work. You may not know yet exactly what you need or want in the “right” place, but knowing what you don’t want is easy.

You don’t want a high crime rate, low property values, or bad quality school if you’re looking for a great place to raise a family. Check out a little info on a few of the worst cities to raise a family to start getting a better idea of what you do want in your future spot.

Atlanta, Georgia

Atlanta, Georgia certainly has plenty of reasons to visit or vacation, but raising a family in this area may not be your best bet. The crime rates in the city of Atlanta and the surrounding areas are some of the highest in the nation, and it doesn’t get any better in the suburbs.

In one Atlanta suburb, you have a 1 in 10 chance of being a victim of a crime. Atlanta also ranks as one of the worst cities for car accidents. If you’re not safe driving or at home, then where are you going to feel comfortable?

Memphis, Tennessee

Memphis is another spot you don’t want to lay your family’s foundation. The violent crime in Memphis, Tennessee ranks in the top ten percent of the nation. For every 100,000 residents, there are 1,082 violent crimes reported each year.

Poverty is another big issue in and around the city of Memphis. In the nation, an average of 20 percent of kids live in a poverty stricken household. In Memphis, Tennessee, 30 percent of kids live in poverty.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

When children live in a place where crime rates are high, they experience higher stress levels. Excess stress produces excess cortisol in the body, which can cause some lifelong physical issues for your child. Albuquerque, New Mexico makes the list of places you don’t want to raise a family mainly because of its high crime rate.

The high school graduation rate in Albuquerque is less than two-thirds of students. Only two other cities in the nation have a lower graduation rate than Albuquerque.

Gadsden, Alabama

Gadsden, Alabama makes this nefarious collection due to a mixture of poor educational outcomes and high crime rates. Though the two often go hand in hand, Gadsden seems to champion the reaction.

Preschool enrollment in the area sits lower than 40 percent, and high school graduation rates are lower than the nation’s average. The violent crime rate in the Gadsden area is in the highest ten percent in the nation.

 

December 20, 2021 by Sofia

How Soon Can You Get Your Family To Live In Canada?

Canada is a great place that will provide families with a better quality of life. Therefore, it shouldn’t be surprising why so many residents want to bring their families to this country as soon as possible. As long as you meet the criteria to sponsor your family members, you can bring your family members to Canada through family sponsorship.

If you have yet to process your family sponsorship, you can always contact a professional lawyer at total.law to help you with your application. After all, a professional can help you sort out legal matters and other concerns regarding your family sponsorship.

Now, just in case you don’t know, here are the following requirements you need to meet to become an eligible sponsor. Here they are:

  • Must provide proof that you can give financial support to the family you’re sponsoring
  • Must be 18 years old and above
  • Must not be jailed or indicted with a serious offense
  • Must not be suffering from bankruptcy
  • Not assigned with a removal order (for permanent residents)
  • Must live in Canada and prove their intent to stay in the country once the sponsored family members enter the country
  • Must be willing to support the sponsored members until a particular period while also ensuring that these members also create efforts to support themselves

Now, this begs the question: how soon can you get your family to live in Canada? Here are a few factors that can affect family sponsorship processing times below.

Who are the Family Members You’re Sponsoring

Your processing date begins right after you turn in your complete application. From there, you simply have to wait for the embassy to make a decision about your application. Depending on the family member you’re sponsoring, the length of the processing can vary. Based on the relationship with the family member you’re sponsoring, the process can take longer or shorter.

In general, Canadian Immigration takes up to twelve months or more to process various applications. In addition, multiple factors can affect processing times for different applications. Here they are below:

Factors Affecting Processing Times for Applications

  • The total duration you require to hand out your biometrics
  • The evaluation is done for the sponsor and the family member being sponsored
  • The course needed to ensure that you meet all the stated criteria for sponsorship

Other than the following factors above, your application’s processing time can also be affected by the following factors:

  • The kind of application you sent
  • If the application you turned in is complete or incomplete
  • How fast applications get processed by the embassy
  • How quickly your details can get verified
  • How quickly you respond to matters related to your application
  • Other factors

Moreover, the Canadian embassy favors applications with complete documentation. Therefore, you must submit accurate information and include all the required documents. This will make sure that your application has better chances of getting approved.

Approximate Processing Times Per Family Member

You’re now aware of the following factors affecting specific application processing times. Next, let’s find out the approximate processing times per family member. As previously mentioned, the Canadian Embassy takes a minimum of twelve months to process each application. However, the time needed has taken much longer due to the pandemic.

  • Spouse or common-law partner residing within Canada: 12 months
  • Spouse or common-law partner residing outside of Canada: 12 months
  • Dependent children: Depends on the country where the dependent child/children are coming from
  • Grandparents and parents: 20 to 24 months
  • Adopted children or other relatives: 28 months

Again, these processing times are just an estimate and can still vary depending on your type of application. Furthermore, processing times are also affected based on the total number of people that apply for immigration to Canada. If this number ends up being higher than what the Canadian embassy can accommodate, then you can expect longer processing times.

Final Takeaways

In general, it will take at least twelve months or more before you can get your family to live with you in Canada. It also depends on the family members you’re sponsoring as well. If you’re having problems dealing with your application, you can always reach out to a professional lawyer. After all, they can significantly help you with all your application concerns.

Moreover, there are chances that your application might end up unsuccessful even with the most minimal errors. With that being said, getting legal help might be your best bet to ensure that your application is filled correctly and includes all the necessary documentation. Therefore, with the aid of legal professionals, you can ensure that your sponsorship application gets submitted with excellent chances for approval.

 

December 17, 2021 by Sofia

The stress-free guide to eating out with the kids at Christmas

We’ve all been there. We’ve been sat in a restaurant, only for all hell to break loose as the kids run riot. Eating out was once one of life’s rewards. When the kids come along, it (can) be anything but.

Of course, all of the above is the very worst-case scenario. In truth, if everyone is on tip-top behaviour, dining out at a restaurant is another glorious family moment. There’s no doubt that things can get tricky in the peak periods, though, with the upcoming Christmas weeks being one of these.

Bearing this in mind, if you are plotting a Christmas restaurant trip with the family, read on for some top tips on how to manage it.

Pick your location extremely wisely

Put simply, some restaurants are more child-friendly than others. If you take to somewhere like Covent Garden, the options are endless. However, visit the other side of the city, and the situation can be very different.

So, what suggests that a restaurant is suitable for children? A kids menu is the obvious one, but if you’re wandering around the area and spot lots of little people heading in and out, it’s usually a good sign. Another one is high chairs; if a restaurant has a stack of them, you’re sure to be in good company, and things will be easier going!

Do you have to visit at rush hour?

There’s rush hour, and then there is Christmas rush hour. Neither is desirable, but the latter is something you should look to avoid at all costs. The last thing you want with busy stressed shoppers is to head into a restaurant in the thick of it.

The busy period tends to last between 12 pm and 1.30 pm. If you can visit outside of these hours, it will be a much more tolerable experience!

Assess the Christmas meal options beforehand

This again reverts back to the famous question of if a restaurant is child-friendly or not. As we all know, some children are fussier than others – and some festive menus (regardless of the cuisine) can get a bit too complicated.

This is where you should assess the menu beforehand. Sure, we’re all for being spontaneous, but if you can research where you’re going before heading out, it will make things a lot more seamless. You won’t be frantically trying to get everyone in order and finding out what everybody wants – it will all be arranged, and you can concentrate on the other finer details!

Book if you can

Finally, did we mention that this was the most chaotic time of the year in towns and cities? Taking kids into a hectic environment tends to be a recipe for chaos, so at least try to bring some organised factors to proceedings by reserving a table in advance. There are no wait times this time, and you’re at least taking control of the situation somewhat. Again, it might feel like it is excessively planned, but in truth, this is the best formula for Christmas dining with the family.

 

December 7, 2021 by Sofia

Helping Adults Heal from Past Abuse – Robert Turner

Adults who suffer abuse as a child or are raised in dysfunctional or abusive families share many symptoms. By the time they reach adulthood, most adults have buried their symptoms because no one was willing to listen. Adults need help recognizing symptoms and healing them because symptoms often cause depression, anger outbursts, self-destructive behaviors, or codependent relationships. According to Robert Turner, recognizing symptoms of abuse is the first step to recovery.

All abuse, including emotional abuse, is a crime against a child’s humanity. The perpetrator of the abuse instills fear and shame in the victim through threats and actual violence or by withholding love and support. The emotional scars from this type of childhood torture often affect every aspect of a person’s life into adulthood.

When you were a child, did your parents:

  • Constantly tell you that you were stupid and make fun of everything you did?
  • Shame and humiliate you in front of the company or at the dinner table?
  • Call you fat and ugly or make fun of your looks?
  • Verbally abuse you by using cruel words that cut into your self-esteem?
  • Physically abuse you in any way? This includes shaking, pushing, slapping, pinching, or biting.
  • Isolate you from friends and family by yelling at them or threatening them?
  • Was he always angry with you so that even little things made him yell?
  • Did your father withhold love, support, or attention because you made him angry?
  • Did he criticize all of your friends?

If any of these questions ring true in your life, then you may have been abused. The abuse lived only one generation away from where you are now because the abuser was a child at one time. It is important to understand that all of these behaviors are learned over a lifetime by the perpetrator. This means the abuse could have stopped with you, but it did not.

These symptoms can be overcome through treatment, support, and hard work by you for years, if not decades to come. Counseling, family therapy, and peer groups are the best forms of treatment to resolve deep-rooted issues. Many people seek individual therapy or attend Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon meetings because they need help with their life issues. If you did not grow up in an abusive household but live with someone abusing you, get out and find a support group for battered women and their children.

Dealing with Past Trauma

Adults who were traumatized in childhood often re-enact the trauma with other people. The old feelings, unresolved from when they were young, surface when triggered by a current event, such as a breakup or loss of a job. And when those feelings are stimulated, it can bring on a flashback that is similar to what your body experienced when you were young.

The abused adult carries the past abuse in his mind and body through intrusive thoughts, night terrors, “flashbacks” of painful memories, or physical sensations that feel like they are happening again. These feelings can be so intrusive that the person does not realize she is safe, except for these moments when she is triggered by something in her current life. It is very hard for the person to stop thinking about the painful past and get back to present reality when this happens.

 

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About Me and My Family

Hey! I'm Sofia, mother or two and happily married to my husband, Lorenzo. We believe family is the most important thing in life today. People can get easily distracted by all the business life brings. This blog is dedicated to helping you navigate life and spend more time with your family!

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