Adults who suffer abuse as a child or are raised in dysfunctional or abusive families share many symptoms. By the time they reach adulthood, most adults have buried their symptoms because no one was willing to listen. Adults need help recognizing symptoms and healing them because symptoms often cause depression, anger outbursts, self-destructive behaviors, or codependent relationships. According to Robert Turner, recognizing symptoms of abuse is the first step to recovery.

All abuse, including emotional abuse, is a crime against a child’s humanity. The perpetrator of the abuse instills fear and shame in the victim through threats and actual violence or by withholding love and support. The emotional scars from this type of childhood torture often affect every aspect of a person’s life into adulthood.

When you were a child, did your parents:

• Constantly tell you that you were stupid and make fun of everything you did?
• Shame and humiliate you in front of the company or at the dinner table?
• Call you fat and ugly or make fun of your looks?
• Verbally abuse you by using cruel words that cut into your self-esteem?
• Physically abuse you in any way? This includes shaking, pushing, slapping, pinching, or biting.
• Isolate you from friends and family by yelling at them or threatening them?
• Was he always angry with you so that even little things made him yell?
• Did your father withhold love, support, or attention because you made him angry?
• Did he criticize all of your friends?

If any of these questions ring true in your life, then you may have been abused. The abuse lived only one generation away from where you are now because the abuser was a child at one time. It is important to understand that all of these behaviors are learned over a lifetime by the perpetrator. This means the abuse could have stopped with you, but it did not.

These symptoms can be overcome through treatment, support, and hard work by you for years, if not decades to come. Counseling, family therapy, and peer groups are the best forms of treatment to resolve deep-rooted issues. Many people seek individual therapy or attend Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon meetings because they need help with their life issues. If you did not grow up in an abusive household but live with someone abusing you, get out and find a support group for battered women and their children.

Dealing with Past Trauma

Adults who were traumatized in childhood often re-enact the trauma with other people. The old feelings, unresolved from when they were young, surface when triggered by a current event, such as a breakup or loss of a job. And when those feelings are stimulated, it can bring on a flashback that is similar to what your body experienced when you were young.

The abused adult carries the past abuse in his mind and body through intrusive thoughts, night terrors, “flashbacks” of painful memories, or physical sensations that feel like they are happening again. These feelings can be so intrusive that the person does not realize she is safe, except for these moments when she is triggered by something in her current life. It is very hard for the person to stop thinking about the painful past and get back to present reality when this happens.

 

No family is perfect and familial relationships can be really difficult and complicated. All families have arguments and fights every so often, and some even get to the point where people who were once close become estranged from each other. In order to avoid this happening to you, you should be prepared for some of the types of arguments you may have with your family at some point. Here are 4 common causes of disputes and disagreements within families.

Estate Planning

Oftentimes when the matriarch or patriarch of a family passes away, there can be nasty arguments among those left behind regarding the estate. In order to keep this from happening, many people opt to start estate planning early so that everything is clear, fair, and legal. Unfortunately, the planning process itself can also cause arguments. Make sure to protect your assets by having a lawyer present for all conversations you have with your children or other family members regarding your estate.

Illness

If someone in a family becomes gravely ill, everyone who loves that person will be under a lot of stress and therefore less equipped than usual to deal with things in a level-headed way. Normal conversations can become tense, and there can be major disagreements or fights over how best to care for the ill family member. Try to remember that you all have the ill person’s best interests at heart and in the end you all want the same things. This will help to keep you more calm during these hard times.

Children

When someone in your family has children, you may notice that everyone else in the family will often try to weigh in on the best ways to raise them. This can cause fights between family members when they ultimately disagree on decisions regarding the children. In these situations it is best to keep in mind that ultimately each parent (or legal guardian) gets to make the decisions when it comes to underage kids. Even though the Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, etc. love the children very much, it is not their choice to decide where they go to school, what their bedtime is, and so on.

Significant Others

If you or someone else in your family is dating or married to someone that other family members do not like, this can be a huge cause of arguments. You may even be forced to choose between your significant other or your family, so it is a good idea to think very carefully about this before making any brash decisions. Listen to your family and consider what they have to say. At the end of the day, it is your choice who you decide to date or marry, but often your family is only acting out of love for you.

Family disputes are never fun and can be awkward, uncomfortable, and even devastating. Keep in mind that just because you are related to someone doesn’t mean you have to be tied to them forever, but that being said, do try to approach all arguments with a clear mind.

 

Although there are limited rights to visitation of grandparents, there are certain conditions that can be met that will permit visitation. An experienced Huntsville divorce lawyer can help advise you on whether a grandparent can petition the court for visitation rights and be successful. The grandparent visitation statute is established in AL Code § 30-3-4.2 (2016), where it states that visitation of a grandparent can be granted if the grandparent can prove that not permitting it would cause harm to their grandchild.

Harm in this case is defined as “a finding by the court, by clear and convincing evidence, that without court-ordered visitation by the grandparent, the child’s emotional, mental, or physical well-being has been, could reasonably be, or would be jeopardized.” This can be a difficult standard to prove, but not impossible.

How AL Code § 30-3-4.2 (2016) Applies

As mentioned above, harm, as defined by AL Code § 30-3-4.2 is an important determinant for visitation rights. To that end, grandparents are able to file an action in court where their grandchild resides or they can file a motion to intervene with any state court before issues of custody arise in order to establish reasonable visitation rights. It is important to note that certain conditions apply:

1. An action for a divorce or legal separation has been filed by the parents, or the marriage has been severed by death or divorce.

2. A child has been born out of wedlock and the petitioner is a maternal grandparent of the child.

3. The child was born out of wedlock, the petitioner is a paternal grandparent of the child, and paternity has been legally established.

4. An action to terminate the parental rights of a parent or parents has been filed or the parental rights of a parent has been terminated by court order; provided, however, the right of the grandparent to seek visitation terminates if the court approves a petition for adoption by an adoptive parent, unless the visitation rights are allowed pursuant to Section 26-10A-30.

If visitation rights are challenged, or rebutted, the petitioning grandparent can argue that they have a significant and viable relationship with the child. To establish a significant and viable relationship to the court, they must demonstrate evidence of the following kind:

1. The child lived with the petitioning grandparent for at least six consecutive months either with or without a parent within the three years prior to filing the petition.

2. The child lived with the grandparent as a caretaker on a regular basis for at least six consecutive months within the three years prior to filing the petition.

3. The petitioning grandparent has had frequent or regular contact with the child for at least twelve consecutive months that resulted in a strong and meaningful relationship with the child within the three years prior to filing the petition.

Alabama law states that “as a matter of public policy, this section (AL Code § 30-3-4.2 (2016)) recognizes the importance of family and the fundamental rights of parents and children.” But by making a path for grandparents to have a continued role in their grandchildren’s lives, a glimmer of hope remains.

Children who are four years old are old enough to understand when their birthday is coming up and all the excitement that surrounds the big day. They are excited about a celebration that makes them feel special with gifts, cake, candy, and a party. It’s also a time when parents are expected to throw a party for friends and family that will be a magical time for the birthday child and for guests.

Monique Banks and Ariel Banks Baker, founders of BLUEPRINT party plans, have thrown over 3,000 birthday parties. They understand that every age group requires something different to keep children engaged, happy, and feeling included. One of the most important tips that they share is including a story time for birthday parties for three and four-year-old children. By taking a quick quiz, BLUEPRINT is able to create a plan that gives parents the exact tools they need to host a magical kid’s birthday party. There are 27 themes to choose from and each theme for this age group will include a story time. Below are the top reasons why the best birthday parties for four-year-olds include a special book.

Finding a Balance Between High Energy and Relaxation

Whether you’re the parent or guest, birthday parties for a 4-year-old can easily be somewhat hectic. Monique and Ariel create an atmosphere of “controlled chaos” with high energy games, favorite music playlists and constant activities. Jumping from activity to activity during a birthday party makes the experience extremely fun, but at a certain point, everyone needs a break. It’s a break that cannot be boring! With the addition of a story time, there is a shift in the energy and a time when children can participate in something fun and relax at the same time. It’s the perfect chance for everyone to calm down a little bit before the high energy fun starts again.

Read all about it!

Reading is an activity that kids should be taught to love at a young age. Instead of having kids only associate the action with going to bed or school, story time in a fun atmosphere, like a child’s birthday party, can make books and learning more enjoyable. The team at BLUEPRINT do not recommend a book that your child has read many times. Instead, recommended books are within one of the 27 BLUEPRINT themes, are colorful and interesting, and allow kids to participate in the story time with various prompts. It’s a new experience so the kids pay better attention, and no one is calling out the next parts of the story!

A Good Way to Teach an Important Lesson

As we all know, books are one of the greatest ways to learn something new. Including such an important skill into a fun celebration is the best way to teach your kids something they can take with them into their interactions with others. A BLUEPRINT plan will recommend a story with a theme that reveals a deeper message. For example: kindness, inclusivity, curiosity, and creativity. By including these values into fun environments, kids are much more likely to adapt and absorb what they are being taught.

Involve Everyone

As our kids grow up, we should always teach the importance of inclusivity and sharing. When books and reading are included in birthday parties, these significant values can be utilized. Reading and storytelling can become something that is interactive. Party guests can read along, add to the storylines, and make inferences about characters. Story books can also show different types of characters that many can relate to. Especially now, it should be our goal to teach our children that everyone is unique and different; everyone has special qualities that make them, them! By adding books that share these values, every child can be taught these important messages in a setting they associate with a fun time.

So, the next time you plan a birthday party for your four-year-old, be sure to take the advice of the BLUEPRINT team! Include a story time that provides a few moments of relaxation. Hopefully, the activity will also be remembered for being extremely fun and reinforcing positive messages.

 

Comic book superheroes are impressive, but even more impressive are the natural superpowers of animals. Having teachable moments to share the wonders of Mother Nature with kiddos is just what confectionery brand Yowie is doing with its new surprise inside chocolates series called “Animals with Superpowers.”

From an animal that can carry ten times its natural weight to an arachnid that can taste and smell with the hairs on its body, children and families will delight in learning about an entirely new variety of endangered species. Children beam with excitement as they unwrap the brightly colored foil Yowie characters, and open the egg to discover fascinating endangered species like the sunflower sea star, a dingo, a spotted hyena, and amur leopard.

Collectors can be on the lookout for a peacock tarantula and a rusty-patched bumble bee too. Animals with Superpowers also include two new species discovered in recent years – a mutable rain frog discovered in 2009 and a ruby-eyed green pit viper discovered in 2011. There’s even an opportunity to obtain Nap and Crag as collectible glitter characters.

Having teachable moments with kids using sustainably sourced chocolate is a parenting win.

 

Preparation is the key when you are getting the most out of your baby’s swimming classes. We know that it is quite challenging to bring out your kids from the house for swimming. But, it is one of the best exercises that your baby can have, and it has lots of benefits. Swimming helps improve your breathing capacity, muscle strength and makes the kids stronger than ever. So, if you plan to take your kids swimming, here are some of the checklists to follow.

• Taking the Nappies and Swim Nappies

It is always a good decision to take an extra pair of swim nappies and some regular nappies that you might need after swimming. We recommend that the mothers wear the swim nappies over the regular nappies to provide additional support. However, if your child is susceptible to cold, you should discuss with the doctor beforehand while buying the nappies. The experts suggest wearing cotton nappies as they will not cause any allergies.

• Taking the Baby Swimwear

Though the public pools will allow your baby to wear the swim nappy, it is up to you if you can buy good swimwear for your kid. There are various cute baby swimwear available, and if your child does not like to wear them, it is always better to go for the swim nappy.

• Carry Wet Wipes and Creams

One of the most common checklist items you should carry when taking your kid swimming is wet wipes and creams. Wipes help you easily remove any dirt particles or water from the kid’s face, and also, the cream provides additional protection from the sun. Pool water contains chlorine that can be bad for your child’s skin. Better to apply a good layer of body cream to avoid any infections or rashes.

• Extra Pair of Outfits

It is better to carry an extra pair of outfits for your kid while taking him swimming. It is quite normal that your kid’s dress will get wet while swimming, and if the water stays on the body for a longer time, your kid will not feel good. So, it is always important to carry an extra pair of outfits to cope up with emergencies.

• Towels 

Towels are the most important items in the pre-swimming checklist during your kid’s swimming lessons. If you miss out on taking the towels, you cannot wrap your child with the soft cotton towel.

• Do Not Forget To Carry Snacks and Child Food

Swimming classes do not end in 1-2 hours, and the time is also consumed in your traveling. So, for safety purposes, you should carry enough snacks for your kid. After kicking and splashing water, your baby will feel hungry for sure. Hence, you can carry health drinks, snacks like bananas and yogurt.

When you are planning to take your kid to swimming classes, you should check the reputation of the swimming school so that your kid feels secured and good while practicing. This is the pre swimming checklist to keep in mind while taking your baby to swimming.

 

Did you know that almost 50% of American children will see their parents divorce? It’s a very sad reality, and this might be happening to your own family soon.

Raising a child is already challenging enough. Through a divorce into the mix, and things can get even more complicated.

If you need some advice on raising a kid in two houses, then read on. We’ll give you some great tips for divorced parents.

Have Two Sets of Basic Items in Each Home

When you’re living in two households, it can become tedious remembering to bring all your things with you each time you go to a different house. Not to mention, if you forget something, it can put a huge damper on your day.

Make sure you and your ex have sets of basic items in each home so your children don’t have the burden of lugging their belongings around. Some things to include are:

• Toothbrush and other toiletries
• Underwear, socks, and clothes (including pajamas)
• Toys

Make a Packing Checklist

For everything else that needs to go back and forth, make a packing checklist. This can ease anxiety for everyone involved and with enough time, it’ll become so routine that packing won’t be stressful at all.

Have a checklist on the wall in each home. A day before your kids go to your ex’s, take a look at the list and help them pack.

Set Ground Rules

You and your ex may already agree on some parenting methods. However, once you’ve split up, each household might diverge slightly on parenting, especially if there are stepparents involved.

Have everyone sit down and agree on some ground rules. And if there are different schedules in each house, that’s fine! Just make sure that everything’s clearly understood and that no parent will break the rules of the other.

Once you’ve agreed on the ground rules, you need to stand together as a united front. Acknowledge that while things might be done a certain way in your house, they’ll be different in their other parent’s house. Your kids will adapt quickly if things are kept consistent.

If you aren’t able to get along with your ex, then it might be a good idea to hire a custody lawyer. Click here to find out more.

Do Drop-Offs Smartly

It might be a good idea for the parent with the kids to drop them off when their time’s up. If you have the other parent go pick them up, then there’s a chance they might interrupt some valuable bonding time.

When you leave drop-offs in the hands of the parent who’s currently with the children, this enables them to wrap up those special moments without it being jarring.

Cooperate When Raising a Child With Your Ex

In this article, we’ve given you some great tips for raising a child in two households.

But in the end, what really matters is that you cooperate and communicate with your ex. When your kids see that you’re still working together as a team, this can give them a healthy environment to grow up in. Plus, it’ll make custody much easier, so it’s a win-win situation!

For more parenting tips, make sure you check out the rest of our family blog page.

 

Every parent knows at least one child that says “I’m bored” at least once a day. While many parents may go for the easiest option of putting their child in front of a television, it’s not always the best way to encourage imagination. The more that you allow your children to turn to screens when they’re bored, the more that they’ll lack the ability to entertain themselves.

So the next time that you find yourself dealing with a bored child, refer to this list of awesome activities to choose from.

Make Slime

Homemade slime videos are all the rage on YouTube, and chances are your child is a slime fan. The great news is that there are recipes for slime which are pretty simple to make, with ingredients you likely already have in your home. Just make sure that you set some ground rules for where the kids can play with the slime in the house. If you hope to sell your home one day, you probably don’t want slime spread throughout your home.

Have a Dance Party

You heard us right, turn on some music and have a dance party. Dancing is something that everybody loves to do regardless of their age. Put on some tunes and bust out your best dance moves. Older kids may even enjoy turning whatever dance you do into a TikTok. The possibilities are endless!

Do Yoga

Initially, your child may scoff at the idea of doing yoga. However, yoga is something that is incredibly enjoyable once you give it a chance. The great news is that there are all sorts of videos online that guide you through yoga poses. There are even kid yoga videos that incorporate popular cartoon themes into the yoga poses.

Paint

Why not grab a set of paints and have a family painting session? Painting is something that is soothing, entertaining, and above all, you have something to show off at the end of your painting session! Don’t stress yourself out about needing the right supplies. While ideally, you’ll have some paints and paintbrushes lying around, markers should do the trick for creating a masterpiece.

Play Board Games

There are so many different video games and apps nowadays that people often forget the joy of traditional board games. Yet, there’s still tons of fun to be had with some of your favorite old classics like Sorry and Monopoly. It’s something the whole family can enjoy and brings out your competitive nature with each other.

These are just a few ideas to turn to when you’re bored at home. Consider adding some more ideas of your own and writing everything down on pieces of paper, and putting it in a box. The next time someone’s bored at your house, they can pull a piece of paper out of the box for a random activity idea!

 

When it comes to your child’s safety and comfort, you wouldn’t think that you would need to think twice about sleepwear and pajamas. However, the fact is that some companies don’t abide by certain regulations for children’s pajamas, meaning that you could be putting your child at unnecessary risk without realizing it.

This might be difficult to hear. In this article, we can highlight all the things you need to look out for to ensure your child gets the coziest night sleep as well as being as safe as possible.

When you tuck your precious ones in at night, it’s important you are dressing them in the best in children’s PJs. Read on to find out more.

Check the Labels

Some companies will allude that their pajamas are for sleeping, even if they haven’t gone through the necessary requirements for sleepwear. It might be a case that they don’t even have their CPS certificate and they haven’t adapted their garments to pass the safety checks.

You should be able to check the labels to see whether this is the case, you are looking for something that says ‘not intended for sleeping’ or a disclaimer in the small print. These sets should be avoided at all costs and not used to sleep in whatsoever.

Other things to consider with labels, is whether it states if it is flame resistant or not. If it is not flame resistant there will be a label stating that it isn’t and that the garment should be worn snugly and not loosely.

Although snug and tight pajamas are not ideal for your child and their sleep. You want loose and breathable fabric. Good quality pajamas will use a flame resistance material and should always be prioritized.

Check for Loose Hanging Embellishments

Some children’s PJs can have elaborate and brightly colored designs on them which children can love to wear. However, you need to check that the designs don’t have any long embellishments such as ribbon or string that can get stuck or caught on things, causing a risk of injury.

This is also a worry if your child is sleeping and could get tangled up in it at night when they are asleep, also posing a risk of injury. Regulations from the CPS state that tags or ribbons can’t hang longer than 1/4” longer than it’s attached to the garment.

If you are concerned that any tags or ribbons are hanging longer than that then they might have not passed the relevant safety checks.

Consider the Material

The material of the pajamas will be crucial in ensuring a blissful night’s sleep for your child. The last thing you want is itchy uncomfortable material that a child feels unsettled in.

There are pajamas that are made with synthetic materials like nylon and polyester and also natural fiber garments that are made from cotton and wool. On the whole, it’s recommended that are more comfortable, although this can depend on the season.

Wool and cotton can be a great choice for snugglier and more cozy fabric in the winter, although synthetics can be more breathable for the summer months. It’s good to have a few sets in each so that your child has the right pajamas for the changing seasons.

You also want to look out for materials or blends that are chemical-free, moist-absorbent, and hypoallergenic. These factors will make the difference when it comes to your child being able to comfortably drift off to sleep. Check out these pajamas to have a look at some excellent children’s pajama sets.

Think About Your Child’s Age 

Depending on the age of your child, will indicate the type of pajama set you will need to buy. For newborns and young children of up to 6 months, sleep gowns footsie sleepers offer the most protection as they cover the child completely.

This replicates the cozy, protected feeling they had growing in the womb so they tend to enjoy feeling all of the body covered up. With toddler age, you can gravitate towards more of the footless romper style.

This is because they are often wanting to walk around and they are able to get more of a stable base without the sock element attached.

When your child grows out of the toddler stage and starts to be more independent, you can move away from the one-piece sets and start to build in two-piece pajama sets.

Your child might be able to dress themselves, or certainly give it a good attempt, so these pajama sets are great for them to practice that with loose, breathable material. Two-piece pajama sets are also good for those children that are going through potty training.

Tight Fit vs. Loose Fit Pajamas 

There are benefits to both tight fit and loose-fitting pajamas. Ultimately it is your decision and your child’s whether you gravitate towards more of a loose fit or whether you prefer the pajamas to fit more snuggly.

It might be a case of trial and error in some circumstances, tight fit pajamas don’t mean that there isn’t any stretch in them whatsoever. The same with a loose fit not having any grip at all.

The main thing is sourcing your pajamas from a quality company that has ensured that their garments comply with the CPS health and safety checks and meet the standards expected of children’s pajamas. Do your research and read up on the reviews before you make any purchases.

Buying Children’s Pajamas: Where Can I Find Out More?

We hope this article on the important things to consider when looking at buying children’s pajamas has made you more aware of the safety and health risks you need to look out for. Children’s pajamas can be extremely fun and vibrant and children love wearing them.

It’s just a case of making sure you are buying the right fabrics and materials so that your child is safe and happy in their bed at night.

If you enjoyed this article, take a look at some of our other articles on this site!