Divorce is a tough thing to go through and when there are kids involved it can be even more difficult to shelter the from the damage that a separation does, than it is dealing with your own personal emotions. I went through this back in 2015 and it wasn’t easy at all. I must admit however that one slice of fortune which I did have was that we lived in Colorado Springs. The reason for this is that the state has divorce laws which can make an acrimonious divorce easier, at least it did for me. This is a no-fault state which made it easier to process the divorce, and the judge will step in to divide assets and decide on custody, when the couple can’t make a decision. Thanks to the great team at Marrison Family Law, his meant that I was left with the kids, and here is how I went about protecting them from the fall out.
You have to try and keep things as normal as possible with the kids, not to hide what is going on but to help them to maintain a routine. Whether it is sports clubs, events or weekly routines, you have to do all that you can to give them as much normality, in what is an abnormal situation for them.
Open and Honest
Whether you like it or not, this divorce is going to massively effect your children and that is why it is important that you keep them in the loop with what is going on. Naturally you don’t need to spill the beans on all the details behind the split, but you should look to create an open and honest dialogue with them, so that they can begin to get their head around what is going on.
No Bad Mouthing
As difficult as it may be if you have gone through a messy break up, it is important that the kids don’t hear you speaking badly about your soon-to-be ex partner. Regardless of your own opinions, you have to remember that the kids don’t need to share the hatred that you have and it will be up to them to make their own choice as they get older and learn more about what went on.
Don’t Play Chess
Something which I have seen happen with friends of mine was that the kids became pawns during the divorce proceedings and one parent used the kids to get at the other parent. This is not healthy for anyone involved and no matter what feelings you have towards your partner, you have to put them to one side for the sake of the kids. This is not the fault of your children so it is not fair on them to be used in this way, and it will have long lasting effects on the family and the happiness of your kids.
This is a tough time but you have to do your best too protect the kids.