When you’re in any kind of relationship, you’re bound to have disagreements every once in a while. But in many relationships, disagreements can easily devolve into arguments if each person in the relationship isn’t careful with how they speak to one another.
While getting into arguments may not seem like that big of a deal to you, if you have children, having them see you fight with your spouse can be very stressful for them. However, seeing you and your spouse argue in a healthy way can also be very beneficial for them as they get into their own relationships later on in life.
To help you make your disagreements with your spouse be helpful instead of harmful for everyone in your home so that you can develop stronger relationships rather than eventually filing for divorce, here are three tips for having disagreements with your spouse when your kids are around.
Practice Better Listening
To have effective communication, including during a disagreement with your spouse, your main priority should be to practice better listening so you can gain greater understanding of how your spouse is feeling.
According to Nicole Fabian-Weber, a contributor to Care.com, if you can learn to accept what your spouse is saying to you during a disagreement without lashing out and having your conversation become an argument, you’ll be teaching your children how to be better listeners as well.
Look For Signs Of Stress In Your Kids
While it can be helpful for your kids to see how a healthy discussion and disagreement should be handled, having any kind of stress in your relationship and conversation with your spouse can easily bleed over into your child’s life.
To help you in recognizing when your disagreement is becoming too stressful to have around your kids, Parents.com advises that you keep an eye out for signs of stress in your kids. Stress can manifest itself in things like withdrawn behavior, acting out, or physical illness.
Know When To End The Discussion
At times, you might begin having a conversation with your spouse that starts innocently enough but quickly becomes more of an argument than a conversation. In situations such as this, it’s usually best to have these discussions away from your kids.
According to AhaParenting.com, you and your spouse should know your own limitations of when you should stop a conversation and pick it back up later when you’re not with your kids. As a good rule of thumb, if you notice that you or your spouse begin to be triggered emotionally in any way, you should accept that this conversation should not happen with your kids around.
To help protect your relationships with your spouse and your children, consider using the tips mentioned above to learn how to have a disagreement with your spouse when your children are present.